Road Trip
by LeiCross
Summary: One-shot: Kamui and his "friends" are stranded after a flat tire stops their happy charade. Chaos ensues. SeixSub, hints of FumxKam.


"Oh drat. It would."

Kamui wrenched open the door of his Cadillac Escalade and hopped onto the slushy road. Mud squished under his boots as he walked in front of his gigantic vehicle and stooped to examine the flat tire. It was hopelessly punctured.

"Everything alright, Kamui-chan?" Sakurazuka slyly leaned out of the window. "Anything amiss?"

Kamui ignored the obvious satisfaction in his passenger's voice as he straightened up and made his way to the back of the car. He opened the trunk and lifted the floor to expose the spare tire compartment. He stared blankly at the hole where the spare tire should have been. _What . . ._

"Whatcha doing, Kamui-kun?" Kamui nearly hit his head on the car as the unexpected voice snapped him out of his reverie.

"Not now, Sorata-san. I'm busy."

"Why are you crying in the trunk?"

"I'm not crying." Sorata was really a thickhead at times. "I'm wondering what happened to the spare tire."

"Pshaw, that old thing? I did away with that!"

" . . . You what?"

Sorata grinned. "Well, I needed it for my science project, and Subaru was kind enough to show me where it was, and . . ." Sorata paused in midsentence as Kamui slammed the back of the Escalade and stomped to the side of the vehicle. The teen yanked open the door and glared at the passengers.

"Out! All of you! Get out now!"

"Goodness me, Kamui-chan, what's got you so down in the -"

"OUT!" The occupants of the car hurriedly scrambled onto the muddy road. They stood in a single line as Kamui walked back and forth in front of them, much like a drill sergeant.

"Um, Kamui-san, it would probably be more practical if we remained inside the car. It appears as though it might, er, start to rain, and -"

"Enough, Subaru. I shall do as I please." The Onmyouji swallowed hard as Kamui fixed them all with a slightly evil amethyst-eyed glare.

"We are stuck," began Kamui. Seishirou snickered.

"Thanks for the update, Kamui-chan," he said sarcastically. Kamui pinned him with a fierce gaze.

"I need your cooperation on this," continued Kamui, but he was interrupted by a squeak.

"Kamui-san, I felt a raindrop!" cried Yuzuriha, clutching her wolfish spirit-dog thing. "It's gonna be a huge storm, and we're going to be soaked, and I'm going to have to change ALL OVER AGAIN!" Yuzuriha began to bawl.

"There there, Yuzu-chan! I'll be your umbrella!" Sorata stood over Yuzuriha and extended his arms over her head. She hiccupped and giggled at the same time. Seishirou took a few steps away from her for his own safety.

"It's not going to rain, Yuzuriha-chan," said Kamui as calmly as he could. But suddenly, lightning flashed around them, and thunder rumbled threateningly. In a matter of seconds a downpour began.

"Nice forecast, Kamui-chan," commented a smirking Seishirou.

"Can we please get in the car?" asked a timid Subaru. Kamui sullenly nodded, too angry to admit that he was an idiot and distressed that his beautiful hair was sticking to his face and eyelids uncomfortably.

Once they had all settled in the car, Kamui turned to face them, trying to begin his conversation again. But Sakurazuka held up a hand.

"It just occurred to me . . . Kamui-chan, do you actually have a license?"

" . . . No . . ."

"I didn't think so. And since that's the case, why were you driving us around?"

"I'll answer that!" cried a jubilant Sorata from shotgun. "I'm his instructor!"

"And I assume you have a license?"

"Well, uh, yeah, um, now you mention it . . ."

Seishirou smiled like a little boy that had just discovered a very rare beetle and was planning to light in on fire with his magnifying glass.

"Why would you care? Not like you follow the law," scoffed Kamui.

"Of course Seishirou-san follows the law! All of us do! And I expect you to too, Kamui-san!"

Subaru was also a bit of a thickhead at times.

"Sorry to interrupt, but who is that?" asked a somewhat dazed Kakyou from the backseat.

Kamui turned to see a tall man waving to them from outside the car. He was wearing nothing but a t-shirt and shorts and carried no umbrella. He mouthed the words, "Hi Kamui." Kamui groaned.

"Not you too," he whispered.

The one ounce of tolerance left in his heart won Kamui over, and he opened the driver's side door and got out of the car. He watched, the rain pelting on his head, as the tall man ran over to him.

"Why are you here?"

"Well, hey, Kamui! Long time no see!"

"What do you want, Fuuma?"

"That's a nice car! Did Subaru buy it for you?" Kamui knew that Fuuma was just being nice. They were both soaked anyway.

"Fine. You may get in. But only until -"

"Yay! Kamui's so nice!" Fuuma pushed past the slightly-soaked-but-extremely-angered boy and hopped into the Escalade. Kamui grudgingly crept in behind him and slammed the door so the whole car shook rather violently.

"EEK! IT'S THE OTHER KAMUI!" screamed Yuzuriha, clutching Inuki weakly.

"Oh, Yuzu-chan, don't be afraid. He's not the only Dragon of Earth in this car after all." Yuzuriha gazed at Sorata with half glazed eyes at his statement. Oh how Sorata wished Arashi would look at him like that.

"H-he's not?"

"Well, no. There's Sakurazuka Seishirou-san, for one, and he's an assassin. And that dreamseer who followed us here. And that lady who was sleeping on the backseat when we got in." Yuzuriha realized the truth of the statement, and cowered under Inuki. The lady, none other than Kanoe, looked up from playing with Subaru's hair and gasped.

"Kamui!" Kamui looked at her strangely, then realized she was looking at Fuuma and sulked. "What are you doing here, Kamui?"

"For his sake, call me Fuuma. Less confusing." Kanoe nodded, then went back to running her fingers through Subaru's hair, much to Seishirou's annoyance.

"So Sorata, do you want to move to the middle?" asked Fuuma as if he knew them all personally. "It's kind of squished up here."

Before Kamui could interject that it was _not_ a good idea for him to be alone in the front seat with Fuuma, Sorata cried out a hearty "sure why not man!" He hopped into the middle with Seishirou, Subaru, and Kanoe, who shoved him into the back with Yuzuriha, Kakyou and Inuki.

"Since there's a flat, I guess we'll all just have to sit here until the storm calms down," said Fuuma as if it were the most natural thing in the world.

"How did you know about the tire?" asked Seishirou, annoyed. Fuuma fixed him with an_ it-was-so-obvious_ look. The assassin pouted and went back to glaring at Kanoe.

"Perhaps we should tell stories," suggested an ever optimistic Sorata. Yuzuriha peeked out from under Inuki and nodded.

"All right then. I'll be the one to go . . ." Sorata paused mid sentence as Kakyou got up and moved into the middle section. This seemed to annoy Seishirou further, who shrank back with distaste. But Kakyou only lingered there a moment before he quietly opened the door and stepped out into the pelting rain. He calmly closed the door and stood outside the car. The others, inside the Escalade, watched as he started to walk down the highway. They watched him - a lone figure in the rain - until he disappeared from sight.

"Well that was weird," said Fuuma after a long time.

"You're telling me," agreed Seishirou. All the occupants sat in the car quietly for a few seconds. Then everyone jumped as a loud snore escaped Kanoe. Subaru bolted up from his prostrate position and was immediately confined to Seishirou's possessive arms.

"Wow, Yuuto was right," said Fuuma quietly. Yuzuriha crinkled her nose. Then she said, "Hey, look at Kamui-san!" Everyone turned to see Kamui fast asleep as well, his dark hair spilling across his arm as he lay curled into a ball. Fuuma, Sorata, and Yuzuriha murmured a little, "Aww!" However, Seishirou and Subaru were . . . busy.

"Uh, if you guys are gonna do that, could you move to the backseat so Yuzu-chan and I can sit with the others?" asked a slightly grossed out Sorata. Seishirou shrugged and practically dragged Subaru to the backseat as Sorata, Yuzuriha, and Inuki all slid into the middle seat. Sorata moved Kanoe to the floor so that Inuki would have somewhere to sit. The woman rolled into the back of the car, still fast asleep.

"If you wouldn't mind," said Seishirou, weaving and intricate pattern in the air with his hand. Suddenly, the two men were gone, and the backseat was empty. Yuzuriha gasped.

"Don't worry, Yuzuriha, they're still there. Just another illusion trick from Sakurazuka, most likely," explained Fuuma, reaching across his seat to turn on the radio.

Considering it was Kamui's car, the radio was on a very jarring station.

". . . and I turned you over. When you mention blue . . . KILL! SMILE! CUT IT OUT FOR ME THIS TIME! SMILE, HAVEN'T SEEN HIM SMILE IN A WHI -" Fuuma hastily turned off the heavy Screamo as Seishirou and Subaru suddenly reappeared, the latter a bit . . . altered.

"What was that?" asked an annoyed Seishirou, shielding Subaru to the best of his abilities.

"Hey, how was I supposed to know Kamui set the volume level all the way up on some Punk Metal station?" retorted Fuuma. Seishirou sighed.

"Just make sure it doesn't happen again." And the couple once again vanished.

"Wow. Kamui-san sure has an interesting choice in music," said Sorata after checking to see if he could still hear properly. Yuzuriha nodded in agreement, removing her fingers from her ears.

" . . . Nobody touches my radio."

Fuuma glanced in surprise at Kamui, who had woken up. Well, it would have been hard not to.

"Hey, well, at least you're awake now! Saves me the trouble of . . . Well, hello, Kamui." Fuuma raised his eyebrows as Kamui climbed into his lap, his narrowed eyes boring into Fuuma's.

" . . . Nobody. Understand? Or do I have to spell it out for you?" Fuuma was a bit taken aback by the intenseness of Kamui's glare. He held up his hands.

"Hey, sorry you have such a possessiveness over your radio."

"My car. My rules. My radio."

"I get it."

" . . . You better."

The car just sat in silence. Fuuma, Sorata, Yuzuriha, and Inuki all stared at Kamui, who continued to glare at Fuuma. Then . . .

"Um, could you get off my lap? Unless . . ." But Kamui took the hint and retreated to the farthest possible place in the front section from Fuuma.

"So Fuuma-san, er, can I call you Fuuma?" asked Sorata.

"Yeah, I'm not really on board with this whole "Other Kamui" thing. I'm perfectly happy with my name."

"What exactly does it mean?" asked Yuzuriha.

"My name? Well, why should it mean anything?"

"Kamui-san's name means something."

"And of course, because I do it, he has to do it TOO?" yelled Kamui, foolishly giving himself a whiplash as he jerked his head around. "WHY DOES EVERYONE COPY ME?"

". . . Nobody copies you, Kamui-san," spoke a confused Yuzuriha.

"Oho!" said Kamui, drawing himself up to his full sitting height of about two feet. "Whoever told you that?"

"Oh . . . I think I know what this is about," said Fuuma, putting his head in his hands as Sorata and Yuzuriha stared blankly at Kamui. Inuki, by this time, had lost interest in the conversation of humans and had fallen asleep.

"I don't understand," said Yuzuriha, as if her face didn't show it.

"Kamui's referring to the orange peel incident."

"Orange peel incident?" asked Sorata, becoming more interested.

"Yeah. Heh, those where some good times," said Fuuma as his eyes took on a glazed look that accompanies with reminiscence.

"NO THEY WERE NOT GOOD TIMES!" screamed Kamui as if he were a toddler in a fit.

"I thought I told you to tone it down," said Seishirou, suddenly reappearing. Alone.

"It's Kamui," said Fuuma the exact same time as Kamui cried, "WHERE'S SUBARU?"

"I am aware of Kamui-san's childish behavior," Seishirou said to Fuuma. "And as for Subaru, it's not really your business where he is, is it?"

"HE'S MY FRIEND!"

"He's my property."

"SUBARU IS NOT YOUR SLAVE!"

"Soon he will be much worse if you don't stop screaming and act your age. Although, with your stature, I'm sure most people wouldn't even notice."

He disappeared before Kamui could get both hands around his neck.

"Sakurazuka-san should know not to tease Kamui-san about his height," said Yuzuriha matter-of-factly as Fuuma struggled to restrain a furious Kamui, who kept yelling, "LEMME AT HIM! LEMME AT HIM!"

"Yeah, Seishirou can be a jerk sometimes," agreed Fuuma, still trying to restrain a very angry amethyst-eyed boy.

"I heard that," said a voice with no body. Sorata laughed nervously.

Suddenly, there was a loud bang from the trunk, and Kanoe came whizzing out from under the seats and crashed through the windshield. Glass rained down on Kamui and Fuuma, combined with the actual rain that poured through the front of the car. Sorata held on tightly to Yuzuriha, who buried her face in her hands. Inuki awoke, startled.

"NOOOOOOOOOO!"

Yuzuriha looked around, wondering who had screamed. She found the owner of the voice to be Kamui, who was more concerned about his car than the glass shards sticking in his arms. She figured he was used to that.

"MY ESCALADE! NOOOOOO!"

"Kamui! Shut up! You are such a baby!" By this time, Fuuma was losing his cool. Sorata could practically see a vein pop out of his head. "We need to be calm."

"LOOK AT MY CAR!"

"I'M LOOKING!" screamed Fuuma, nearly breaking Kamui's back as he threw the teen away from him. "IF YOU DON'T SETTLE DOWN I'M GONNA KILL SOMEBODY!"

"Oh drat. It would."

Everyone hushed at the unfamiliar voice that came from the trunk of the car. Kamui gulped when he realized he had said the same thing an hour ago. The dragons watched as a shadow stretched across the backseat of the car, steadily growing longer with each second. A long, pointed hat rose out of the trunk and poked over the back seat. It grew taller and taller until it smashed against the roof of the car.

"Tarnation!" the voice yelled again. "These stupid modern carriages! My hat hath seen better days!"

"W-who's there," called Kamui, his voice breaking with fear. His eyes were wide in frightened anticipation. Fuuma thought he looked cute like that.

"One moment, fair chancellor!" croaked the scratchy voice. Suddenly there was another loud bang as the backseat collapsed onto itself, revealing man kneeling behind it. He was very old, with a long gray-white beard, and he wore a crimson robe and hat that had indeed seen better days. In his hand he held a long wooden stick, which glowed eerily at the tip. He swept his sea-green eyes over the group, then snapped his fingers.

"I understand!" he said loudly, a smile spreading across his face. "Mine grandniece won the game!"

"What?" asked Sorata. "Grandniece? Game? Who are you?"

"I doth like your spunk," said the old man, completely ignoring Sorata and pinning Kamui with an intense gaze. "It doth be radical." And he disappeared with a house-elf like crack.

There was silence. Then,

"WHAT?" screamed Kamui.

"Allow me to explain."

Suddenly, a young woman appeared, sitting on the folded backseat. She had long ebony hair that draped over her shoulders, and she wore a bright pink kimono. In her hand was a _choko_ filled with saké. Her eyes, the same color as the old man's cloak, surveyed them as if they were her mice and she was the snake.

"I am Yuuko Ichihara."

"Great. Now what the HELL are you doing in my CAR?" yelled Kamui, quite rudely.

Yuuko laughed. "My, you remind me of him even more than Syaoran!" At the occupants' blank stares, she hastily cleared her throat and took a sip of saké. "Anyways, you just met my granduncle, Merlin."

"What?" asked Fuuma, suddenly interested. "You can't possibly be that old. You don't look a day over twenty-four."

"How nice of you to say that," Yuuko smiled. "Perhaps I shall have you work for me sometime."

"Um, okay?"

"But as for you," she said, turning on Kamui. "We were playing a game, and he lost, so he ended up in your car. I am here now to explain to you what happened. If I hadn't come, that would have been quite rude of me. So you see, that is why the hell I am in your car." She took another sip of saké as Kamui turned pink with anger and light embarrassment.

"M-mother?"

Yuuko turned to see Seishirou and Subaru, who had reappeared, unnoticed. They were both presentable this time.

"I see you've finished," said Fuuma snidely. Seishirou smiled pleasantly and went back to gawking at Yuuko.

"You should know perfectly well, Sakurazuka Seishirou, that the dead cannot come back to life. I'm not your mother, nor do I desire to be. Actually, I have to get going. I'm expecting that odd girl with the lunatic mother to be at my shop soon." And she disappeared.

The occupants of the car were silent for a long time.

"At least she was courteous," said Fuuma after many minutes had passed. But he was met with absolute silence. Then,

"I'm hungry."

"Well, sorry, but I don't exactly have a restaurant in my car, Subaru." Kamui was still annoyed at his rebuking from Yuuko.

"Burned lots of calories, eh?" joked Fuuma. Seishirou was not amused.

"Um, so, how long are we going to be here for?" asked Yuzuriha, stroking a very frightened Inuki.

"Yuzu-chan, we have a flat tire," said Sorata patiently, as if her were talking to someone incredibly stupid. Which he was. "That means that until we get a new one, we're stuck here."

"Well, then we should get one," said Yuzuriha. "Start walking!"

"But it's raining!" whined Sorata.

"No it's not," said Subaru, pointing to the smashed front window. Glass was everywhere, and both Kamui and Fuuma had wet hair, but rain was no longer pouring into the car.

"Wow, I didn't even notice," said Fuuma, looking into the sky. "That Yuuko lady distracted us, I guess."

"Whoa, look!" cried Sorata, pointing out the smashed window to the road. Everyone looked in surprise as Kakyou, the dreamseer from before, walked toward them down the road. But he wasn't alone. To his right was a big burly man who carried a large tire in his hands. When Yuzuriha saw them, she turned bright pink and promptly fainted. Seishirou, who had been slightly irritated since the beginning of the road trip, cleared his throat loudly when Yuzuriha's head flopped onto his lap. Subaru, who had a knack for knowing when Seishirou was distraught, promptly moved a safe seven inches away from his side and constructed a kekkai over the car.

To Kakyou's left was a young boy with what looked like a Mitsubishi symbol on his head. He was dressed like a space ranger and carried a long white cloth in his hands. Kamui heard Fuuma mutter, "What'd he do, bring _all_ of the Angels here?"

As the trio came closer, Kamui heard Kakyou call out in his monotone voice, "Are you alive, Kanoe-san?"

"I think she's asleep," said the weird ranger boy. A loud snore made them jump back from the car as Kamui vaguely remembered the sleeping lady that crashed through his windshield.

"I wouldn't be surprised," said the big man with the tire. "Yuuto's told me a lot about her and her habits. What's she dreaming about?"

Kakyou closed his eyes and stretched his hands out over something on the road. After a few seconds he said, "She's dreaming about Kamui." Both Fuuma and Kamui jumped and looked at each other.

"Which Kamui?" asked the boy with the cloth.

"Well, I'd say both. She's doing different things to them." Kamui made a retching noise as Sorata covered Yuzuriha's ears.

"Like what?" asked the boy again.

"Nataku-san, I really don't think you are emotionally mature enough to handle what she's doing in her dream right now," said Kakyou calmly. "But if you really want to know, she's got Kamui of Heaven in a headlock and she's about to wrap her hand around his-"

"I'M RIGHT HERE, YOU KNOW!" screamed Kamui, sticking his head through the open windshield. Nataku yelled, and the big man dropped the tire. Kakyou's eyes burst open, and a pink tinge spread across his cheeks. "WHY DON'T YOU JUST POST A VIDEO ON THE INTERNET AND TELL EVERYONE THAT KANOE DREAMS ABOUT R-"

"THAT'S ENOUGH!" shouted Seishirou, shoving a surprised Yuzuriha off his lap and opening the door. "I'VE HAD ENOUGH OF PUTTING UP WITH YOU PEOPLE FOR SO LONG! I HAVE OTHER THINGS TO DO THAN WASTE TIME WITH IDIOTIC DRAGONS OF HEAVEN AND CLUELESS DRAGONS OF EARTH!" Seishirou's eyes flashed dangerously as he jumped out of the car and slammed the door. He fixed each one of them with a cold glare, then vanished into a thousand sakura petals.

"We'd better hurry up and do this," said the big burly man as soon as the Sakurazukamori had left. He picked up the tire and made his way to the front right side of the car, where he began to change tires. Nataku followed him like a puppy and watched with fascination as the tires were switched.

Inside the car was a different story. Kamui was shaking from Seishirou's mini-lecture. Fuuma made a move to comfort him, but decided that he valued his life and stayed where he was. Yuzuriha was cowering next to a very confused-looking Sorata and a growling Inuki.

"I-I apologize. Seishirou-san isn't usually like this," said Subaru in a tiny voice. He looked as though he was about to cry too. He released the kekkai and sat very still in the back of the car. Kamui stopped shaking and, looking for something to do, turned on the radio.

"SO MAYBE I TOOK A LITTLE TOO MUCH. MAYBE LIFE DIDN'T WANT THIS PART OF ME! IT HELPS TO KNOW I NEVER LET YOU GO! SURE, I LOST MY MIND. BUT I NEVER EALLY MEANT TO DIE-"

Fuuma shut off the station again as Kamui turned angry eyes on him.

"Why did you do that? What did I tell you about my radio?"

"Sorry, Kamui, but not everyone can stand 157 decibel radio loudness blaring in their ears."

"Alright! I'm done!" shouted the big burly man with the tire. He waved at the car, then winked at Yuzuriha. She blushed and murmured something like, "Thanks, Kusanagi-san," and waved back. The big man and Nataku took a running leap, then flew off into the evening light.

"Wow, y'know, I just remembered we can all fly," said Sorata as he watched the odd pair grow smaller and smaller. "I should have remembered sooner. Well, I'll be seeing you, Kamui-kun! C'mon, Yuzu-chan."

"W-what? You're all just leaving me here?" stammered Kamui as Sorata, Yuzuriha, Inuki, and Subaru got out of the car.

"We're not leaving you. We're just getting a head start. TEE-HEE!" said Yuzuriha, laughing a bit maniacally. With that, she, Sorata, Subaru, and Inuki flew off.

"Well, see you later, Kamui," said Fuuma, giving the latter a pat on the head. "Good luck in the battle for the end of the world. But, you won't need it because I'm going to win anyway." With that snide remark, Fuuma also exited the Escalade and flew away.

"Wow," muttered Kamui. "They all just left me here to drive this giant car by myself."

"Not quite," said a quiet voice, and Kamui jumped to see Kakyou suddenly sitting next to him in shotgun. "I, unfortunately cannot fly unless I am in the Dreamscape."

"Yeah that's nice," said Kamui, noting that Kanoe was somehow back in the middle seat and still snoring away softly.

"I also can't drive," said Kakyou, somewhat forlornly.

"Fine, I'll drive you and that weird lady. But in return, you have to let me listen to my music."

"That is fair. Besides, your taste in music helps me focus on my dreamseeing."

". . . It . . . does?"

But Kakyou had already folded his legs like Buddha and closed his eyes. Kamui sighed and started the engine to go home, and this time, his radio remained on throughout the entire ride.

THE END


End file.
